New Kid on the Block

Here's to my first post. I suppose the first post is always the most difficult. So much to say and yet no need to say it all at once. First of all I am blessed to be the proud father of two little boys, Joshua (2 years old) pictured with his momma and I and Benjamin as he looked in the hospital. Benjamin was born early on the morning of October 25th. He was a perfectly healthy baby boy of 7lbs 4oz. However, Brenda experienced some rather severe complications due to a placenta accreta resulting in excessive bleeding and the need for an emergency hysterectomy. October 25th is one of those days that is burned into your consciousness because of an extreme event. I experienced the joy of new life and the pain of near loss. Requiring over 8 units of blood and blood products, as well as a life-saving procedure, I very nearly lost my wife. God's providence is very real to me as prayer was the tool that saved my wife's life. That is evident even to the doctors who worked feverishly to save her and even they proclaimed God's hand in her remarkable recovery.

This brings me to the subject of this installment of common prayers. This was obviously not a day of common prayers as I am usually not accustomed praying for my wife's life to be spared. However, I was brought face-to-face with the possibility of losing the one person in life I never want to be without. Due to my theological beliefs regarding the extent to which husband and wife are joined in marriage, I was crippled with the reality that should she die I would lose a piece of my identity. As I joined my life to hers we formed one life, one person, one flesh. To have lost her would have been for me to lose a part of my personhood. I know that my identity as it is defined in Christ would have remained but in a real and mystical way I would have been left torn, halved, and incomplete. Thanks be to God though I do not have to visit this place of uncertainty and loss.

It does bring me to the question though, why do so many couples find it necessary to end such an amazing union for often times trivial reasons? It is often easy to take your partner for granted and not show them the love and affection and is needed to enable a marriage to have the sustained mutual respect and trust necessary for healthy growth. Seeing my wife lay in ICU and being told we are not sure if she will make it is a mind numbing experience that can and should suck the life from you. When a person's life has that level of impact on you is not imperative that you would do all that you can to demonstrate how much that person means to you on a daily basis. I can see how the day-to-day needs of caring for two children can sap you of all energy that you may relegate to the upkeep of your love life. The issue though is not one of sex but one of affection. How do we keep our marriages strong? Mutual affection. There are many ways to experience affection outside of sex. The object is to find those methods that show affection most effectively to our companions. A little praise and affirmation can go a long way.

All of this has been to say, I appreciate my wife so much these days. I thank her regularly for sticking around to raise our boys with me and most importantly to grow old with me. I am a blessed man and to that I say once again, Thanks be to God!