Let it Snow!

Typically I would just now be getting home on a Wednesday evening. When I was a youth pastor this was nothing new and I was used to getting home at 9pm or later on most hump days. Since shifting roles I thought that my Wednesday nights would not be as hectic. However I was mistaken and I am usually not home until 8:30 or 9:00 pm just as it had been. However tonight I never left the house. I arrived home at 4:30 pm and have not left to go back to church. I was forced to cancel our Wednesday night activities due to about 5 inches of snow that fell today (as opposed to the 1-2 inches that were forecast). This has been quite a winter here in western Missouri, one unlike many folks here remember in years past. Snow and ice have been the norm since the middle of December and now we add bitter arctic air to the mix. I have had to experience several "firsts" since assuming the role of Lead Pastor. Most of these "firsts" have consisted of administration issues but the one that bothered me the most was the first Sunday (January 21st) that I had to cancel morning worship services. Now I have to admit that as an associate I usually did not get too upset if services had to be canceled for a Sunday. I typically saw it as an opportunity to sleep in an enjoy a day of legitimate rest. However I found myself feeling lost, empty, and without purpose (other than the quality time spent with my family) as I sat at the house. I was ready to lead my people in worship and to preach the gospel but I was prohibited from doing that. I had never felt that before. I have never had this deep sense of responsibility that I carry now. This is not to say that I did not feel responsible as a pastor when I was an associate. I had a deep sense of responsibility for my teens. However Sunday was not the day that I was given the platform to lead them in worship and proclamation. We sat under the guidance of another on Sunday. My day for that was Wednesday and I took that evening very seriously as it was my opportunity to be lead my group as a whole through worship and the word. Now I am the leader of the church as a whole. Sunday is my day to lead my people in worship and to prayerfully proclaim to them the word of our Lord. I found myself second guessing my decision to cancel all Sunday morning. In truth it would have been a very poorly attended service and some would have came out to worship out of obedience and put themselves in jeopardy to do so. I missed my time with my people. I missed my time to share with them and to worship with them. In short, I missed my people. That is a good feeling for a pastor to have. It means that I genuinely enjoy my time with them and I truly am loving them as I should. I am not as saddened tonight. I am charged right now with leading the children's program and teaching my adult leaders how to to this. It takes more out of me to do this and truthfully I needed the break tonight. I am certain that I will experience many more firsts in my time here. Some of them will hurt and others will be joyful. I am pleased though that my love for my people is growing. I praise God for this "good fit" that He has helped to create between myself and those I am given charge over to love and journey with. I leave you with a blessing: "May God grant you the peace to live faithfully in the land in which you journey." Grace and Peace.

Johnny's Back

Hello faithful travellers on the road of life; I am back. I apologize for laying low for such a long time. My only excuse is that I switched over to the new beta version of blogger and it wiped out some of my settings and having the unfortunate disposition of occassional laziness I scraped blogging for a while. However, like anyone who likes to write it has called back to me and now I have returned to the world of screens and words. Please forgive my laziness if you have been waiting anxiously for me to post another amazing photo of my awesome boys or write some witty quip from our life. I am now planning to be prompt again in my blogging and to ever update my sites, books, and such on my blog. Ok, with all of that explanation said and done I will get on with the point of my post today--aging. I am now 33. I hit this record milestone yesterday (January 18th) and now I have reached the age of enlightenment. Ok, that really is not true but age does tend to cause one to stop and pause for reflection on life and all of its mysteries. As I told my Pop yesterday when he asked me to enlighten him on all the new knowledge that I have acquired with this new year of age, "I need to stop and debrief so that I can fully assimilate all that I have come to know in this world now." I am now the age of crucifixion so I pray that this little fact does not indicate hardship, frustration and turmoil this year. However if it happened to our Lord then why not me? However, I do need to stop and think about a few things that I am thankful for. I am thankful for my wife: she continues to journey through life with me and doesn't complain too much about socks on the floor or my complete inability to find anything the first time I look. I am thankful for my boys: they have an uncanny way of filling my life with the just the right amount of joy and complete insanity. I am thankful for my church: I now serve a wonderful group of poeple who are forgiving, loving and willing to learn from a green pastor. I am thankful for my growing relationship with God: each day I am privileged to carry on relationship with the God of all creation inspite of my unworthiness. He calls me to His table and offers me a seat. He forgives my shortcomings and teaches me to be better. He pursues me when I am distant, He leads me into the best possibilities of life. In short, I am continually in awe of the God who allows me to work with Him to bring about His good will in the world. In the coming days I will post more devotional and homiletic thoughts as part of my blogging. I am glad to be writing again. May you experience God's grace today in prrofound and intimate ways.