Let it Snow!

Typically I would just now be getting home on a Wednesday evening. When I was a youth pastor this was nothing new and I was used to getting home at 9pm or later on most hump days. Since shifting roles I thought that my Wednesday nights would not be as hectic. However I was mistaken and I am usually not home until 8:30 or 9:00 pm just as it had been. However tonight I never left the house. I arrived home at 4:30 pm and have not left to go back to church. I was forced to cancel our Wednesday night activities due to about 5 inches of snow that fell today (as opposed to the 1-2 inches that were forecast). This has been quite a winter here in western Missouri, one unlike many folks here remember in years past. Snow and ice have been the norm since the middle of December and now we add bitter arctic air to the mix. I have had to experience several "firsts" since assuming the role of Lead Pastor. Most of these "firsts" have consisted of administration issues but the one that bothered me the most was the first Sunday (January 21st) that I had to cancel morning worship services. Now I have to admit that as an associate I usually did not get too upset if services had to be canceled for a Sunday. I typically saw it as an opportunity to sleep in an enjoy a day of legitimate rest. However I found myself feeling lost, empty, and without purpose (other than the quality time spent with my family) as I sat at the house. I was ready to lead my people in worship and to preach the gospel but I was prohibited from doing that. I had never felt that before. I have never had this deep sense of responsibility that I carry now. This is not to say that I did not feel responsible as a pastor when I was an associate. I had a deep sense of responsibility for my teens. However Sunday was not the day that I was given the platform to lead them in worship and proclamation. We sat under the guidance of another on Sunday. My day for that was Wednesday and I took that evening very seriously as it was my opportunity to be lead my group as a whole through worship and the word. Now I am the leader of the church as a whole. Sunday is my day to lead my people in worship and to prayerfully proclaim to them the word of our Lord. I found myself second guessing my decision to cancel all Sunday morning. In truth it would have been a very poorly attended service and some would have came out to worship out of obedience and put themselves in jeopardy to do so. I missed my time with my people. I missed my time to share with them and to worship with them. In short, I missed my people. That is a good feeling for a pastor to have. It means that I genuinely enjoy my time with them and I truly am loving them as I should. I am not as saddened tonight. I am charged right now with leading the children's program and teaching my adult leaders how to to this. It takes more out of me to do this and truthfully I needed the break tonight. I am certain that I will experience many more firsts in my time here. Some of them will hurt and others will be joyful. I am pleased though that my love for my people is growing. I praise God for this "good fit" that He has helped to create between myself and those I am given charge over to love and journey with. I leave you with a blessing: "May God grant you the peace to live faithfully in the land in which you journey." Grace and Peace.